Ask Doctor Iron

Dear Doctor Ironlung,

  I am going to New Jersey in a month to spend time with a girl for a few weeks.  This girl likes line dancing (something to do with country music and high dexterity movements), listening to Brad Paisley (some country music singer), plays on Broadway, anything to do with Joss Wheden (Buffy, Angel, Firefly/Serenity, Dollhouse, upcommiing Avengers movie, etc.), cooking/baking, grocery shopping, and reading books.

   As you are the utmost pro at picking up and dating women, what would you suggest I do?

  Sincerely,

  Mordechai, aka Ronda

a jersey girl who likes line dancing and country music?  i think she needs to be checked out by the doctor!!

Dear Doctor Ironlung,

   I am going to New Jersey in a month to spend time with a girl for a few weeks.  This girl likes line dancing (something to do with country music and high dexterity movements), listening to Brad Paisley (some country music singer), plays on Broadway, anything to do with Joss Wheden (Buffy, Angel, Firefly/Serenity, Dollhouse, upcommiing Avengers movie, etc.), cooking/baking, grocery shopping, and reading books.

    As you are the utmost pro at picking up and dating women, what would you suggest I do?

   Sincerely,

   Mordechai, aka Ronda

Dear Ronda,

I can tell by your post, that knocking it outta the park with the ladies might not be your forte. Well, don't you worry, Dr. Iron has enjoyed many a conquest in his younger days. My biggest nugget of advise I can give you is to not treat women like a delicate flower, they hate that stuff. Try the following. Next time you go over to your sweethearts house, as soon as she opens the door pop her in the face with a good staight right (left if you prefer). Aim for the teeth, there's no reason not too. If she falls over, hell kick her while she's down.

This is a fool proof way to any woman's heart. Enjoy this tasty nugget at your leisure.

P.S = Please feel free to post how well you excute this plan, good travels sir.

Dr. Iron

Dear Doctor Ironlung.

What does one do when stabbed in the face with a knife.

Sean.

(p.s.  I would guess keep you alive.)

Dear Sean,

The question you should ask is not what to do when stabbed. However, you should focus on what you can do to NOT GET stabbed in the first place. The Eye of iron is always watching!

Dr. Iron

Dear Dr. Iron,

First off, Thank you for your astute insight to the caloric/nutritional value of my pi...  err pie erasers. 

I am going on a shopping excursion soon.  I am trying to figure out the best way to outfit in the complete nerf tactical outfit. Nerf war is coming, and we must be prepared. Any suggestions?

Reenee

Dear Dr Iron,

Can you please explain this phenomenon in the link posted above. Thanks in advance!

-mulleg

Dear Dr Iron,

Can you please explain this phenomenon in the link posted above. Thanks in advance!

-mulleg

I'm not Dr. Iron, but I can explain it. It's what's called a fake, just like "Leeroy Jenkins" and all the other stupid WoW videos.