Ask Doctor Iron

mr lung

my question albeit simple seems to have drawn much attention as of late, after wearing the lemo pie does one wipe front to back or is it back to front in this case?

thanks for your time in this matter sir

                                         helplesschoad



P.s.  How would you stop the oil spill???

Dear Helplesschoad,

Lemon Pies must be treated with the utmost repect at all times. Did you know, that Lemon Pies are the #1 cause of sudden suffocations  in the Northern Hemisphere? That kind of awsome needs to be repected, yet feared at all times.

P.S.S -  Nuclear Weapon

Dear Dr. Iron

I recently took a trip to mexico with some friends. They decided to play a trick on me and slip some drug that made me black out one of the nights I was there. Now it burns when i pee and and theres a tatoo of Bill Nye the Science Guy on on my right butt cheek. What should I do?

Dr. Iron,

I went to the local school supplies shop, I purchased erasers, stickers, chalk and a really nifty slide ruler flavored in lemon pie, cherry pie, pumpkin pie and blueberry pie. I was unable to find the nutritional value on the erasers but they were sold out of grape. Could you tell me how many calories are found in say... the lemon pie eraser?

OH and are you related to DOCTOR TRAN?!!?

Yours,

Reenee

ps... turkey basters work better when wet.

P.S. I noticed the "I hate ironlung" shirts have already hit the streets. When and where can I buy an "I love ironlung" shirt though

Dear Dr. Iron

I recently took a trip to mexico with some friends. They decided to play a trick on me and slip some drug that made me black out one of the nights I was there. Now it burns when i pee and and theres a tatoo of Bill Nye the Science Guy on on my right butt cheek. What should I do?

Dear Mulleg,

The Burning sensation you are describing is simply your body telling you how much it loves you. Anyone that tells you different has not expereinced the pure joys of self love.

Secondly, Bill Nye is like one of the coolest people to ever have walked the face of the earth.  Why would you want to do anything about that! Wear that badge proudly.

Dr. Iron,

I went to the local school supplies shop, I purchased erasers, stickers, chalk and a really nifty slide ruler flavored in lemon pie, cherry pie, pumpkin pie and blueberry pie. I was unable to find the nutritional value on the erasers but they were sold out of grape. Could you tell me how many calories are found in say... the lemon pie eraser?

OH and are you related to DOCTOR TRAN?!!?

Yours,

Reenee

ps... turkey basters work better when wet.

Hi Reenee,

General rule of thumb for all school and/or shop supply calorie values that are not clearly listed on the package;

Pi x Diameter / 42 x 3.75 = Calorie Value(10 calorie error margin included)

Since most erasers are do not come in a round format, you will need to do some rough calculations to find your Diameter value. Start with the Lemon Pie and work downward in order of awsomeness.


P.S Dr. Tran and I are related through a distant marriage of sorts.  I would need to explore the family tree a little more in depth.